Relationships

Paris Pitt a la Assumptions

While walking with my husband on a street in Paris last spring, I noticed a couple guys sitting on some ancient church stairs with a Pitt Bull by their side. I approached the guys and the Pitt immediately started wagging her tail. I asked, in very broken French, if we could love on her a bit as we hadn’t seen our sweet doggers in a few weeks. One of the guys indicated that she was VERY friendly and loved attention. I kneeled down, let her sniff me and then went in for an ear scratch. Her mouth pulled back into that goofy Pitt smile that always melts my heart. She then rolled onto her back so I could rub her belly.

My joy turned to horror when I saw a red, raw scar running from the Pitt’s chest to her belly. As I looked closer I saw that she also had a series of small scars running across her muzzle and a ragged torn ear. My thoughts jumped to the conclusion that she had been used as a fighting dog. My eyes locked onto the owner as I asked if he fought her. He motioned to his own face which displayed a nasty set of scars running ear to ear. He explained that she had saved his life. My mind created a terrifying narrative involving the French mafia, high level crime, drug trafficking and my face ripped to shreds by this now scary animal at the snap of his fingers.

What my brain found confusing was that this dog was seemingly so friendly and gentle. The guys appeared kind, approachable and genuine. He noticed my reaction and went on to explain, “that’s what happens sometimes when [...]

It’s Only Life After All

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me is to take my life less seriously,
it’s only life after all.” – Indigo Girls

 

The last time I saw my mom, dementia had progressed to the point of her not remembering minute to minute. I told her I smuggled some contraband candy into the nursing home for her. Her eyes lit up and she inquired “what kind of candy?’ I told her both Peppermint Bark and Candy Corn (two of her favorites). She pointed to the Peppermint Bark and asked to try it. “Wow, that was good.” Then she asked, “What’s in the other bag?” I gave her a few Candy Corns and she smiled and then asked, “Well, what’s in the other bag?” (Indicating the Peppermint Bark.) We continued this pattern until both bags were significantly lighter. As I prepared to leave, she grinned and said, “Next time you come to visit, why don’t you smuggle in some contraband whiskey?” She died unexpectedly 2 weeks later.

About a month after her death, I was sorting through the mail. I had received two envelopes. One envelope was her burial notification and the other from a pest control company. I opened what I thought was the burial notification and the letterhead read “HIRED KILLERS” and an invoiced amount of $1.175.00. My mind raced to the thought “WTF, someone was hired to KILL MY MOM and they are charging me for it?” Until I asked myself, “what’s in the other envelope?” I’d forgotten that the name of the pest control company was “Hired Killers.” No doubt, this was my mom’s uncanny “gotcha” for not smuggling in the contraband whiskey.

My mind loves to find meaning and purpose in sucky life experiences. [...]

We

This blog originated as a result of the following assignment in my positive psychology course:

Write a letter to a friend explaining to him or her about the components of thriving relationships (hard work, knowing and being known, allowing for conflict, and positive focus). Elaborate on parts that you think are particularly important.  The timing coincided perfectly with my wedding anniversary.

“When I’m with you, it doesn’t matter where we are,
or what we’re doing. I’m with you, that’s all that matters.
Time passes much too quickly when we’re together laughing.
Only the beginning of what I want to feel forever.
Only the beginning. Only just the start.” Chicago Transit Authority
My Dearest Yoram,

“Beginnings” by Chicago Transit Authority was one of the first songs we listened to (on vinyl 🙂 I discovered in you, a kindred musical spirit, despite the fact you are a melody guy and I’m all about the lyrics. The melding of my Maggie’s and your Just Be Loud’s produced sounds more beautiful than the sum of their woofers, tweeters and quasi-ribbon magnetic-panel technology. As a result of our melding, we too become bigger and brighter.  On our anniversary, I pay tribute to the healthy qualities of La-rom that shape our sublime union (in musical form, with lyrics included, just for you.)

Above all,  In this house there’s Love. (Boxing Gandhi’s) Everlasting love is our aim. This house is built on the solid foundation of friendship. We prioritize and enjoy time together.  In this house, we honor Sacred Date Night, Bombay Sapphire Martinis, Breaking Bad, Sports Cars and “to sheet or not to sheet.” Yoram and Laurie’s most excellent adventures create our love map of memories and meaning.  Planning and rehearsing the “destined to [...]